Squeeze the Universe

mental monday: ah-choo

jes — Tue, 01 May 2012 02:33:41 +0000

my post this evening is destined to be brief. mostly because i feel sick. i am happy to report, however, that i feel sick like i’ve got some sinus-y head cold thing. you know, like a normal person. not sick like i’m the lady in the yellow wallpaper sick.

i also want to let you know that i have a volunteer petunia growing in the middle of my lawn. it’s fuschia.

thank you for reading and for everything that you say. i like you all. and i hope that you all stay head cold free.

2 comment(s) for this post:

John:
01 May 2012 What a great creepy short story. It's surprising that she can build sympathy so quickly, at the same time throwing in a little critique for a common reaction to mental illness. Thanks for the link!
annie:
02 May 2012 haha, john's comment is funny. i feel sometimes like i'm the volunteer fuschia petunia in a yard full of grass. maybe i'm not the only one? (not saying that i'm pretty, but i stick out and am colorful and vivacious and loud! goodness i'm loud! and i hate people that comment just to talk about themselves. it bugs doesn't it?)

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mental monday: scorpions are creepy

jes — Tue, 24 Apr 2012 01:26:06 +0000

last night i pulled out the old video camera. (i remember when me and husband bought it. it seemed so expensive. such a splurge. so extravagant. and now it’s already archaic. like a tiny dinosaur i keep in a bag with a bunch of bones.) and somehow i managed to have all the right hookups and plugs and red and yellow and white bits and i pulled my two precious babies on my lap and magic! we watched (thrice!) husband’s graduation from dental school.

and i know i was already pulling out of my awful place, but optimism blooms from the funniest things. and just seeing my husband’s smile again, on television, picked my heart up a little. that hat and that ridiculous purple gown and all the flashes of camera. and i kept thinking to myself, by golly, we’ve done this before, and apparently, we’ll do it again. we’ll do it again, folks. and i may not always get the dishes done or the children washed, but everyone is loved.

and, that said, now i have to tell you about the day little h got stung by a scorpion. we were running late for school. and i said something like, get your shoes on little h and go outside while i get your sister. and then i hear this scream. and the scream made me think, some kid has found his father’s gun and shot my son. because that was the kind of scream i heard. (of course, in rewind, i’m missing a gunshot. but mother’s don’t always think clearly.) so i run outside. and little h is crying and screaming and i can’t see anything wrong. and he just keeps saying, “my shirt, my shirt.” and i am confused. because his shirt does not appear to be attacking him. so i start taking his shirt off and i see that his stomach is swelling up. and that’s weird and i turn him around pulling his shirt off and up out of the neck of his shirt i see this tail out of a science fiction movie. like every episode of the x-files is suddenly in your garage. like your child is now possessed by aliens. and then an entire scorpion emerges out onto his shoulder with its tail waving in the air. and i scream. and little h screams more.

and then my vicious mother-sense grabs the scorpion with my bare hands and flings it to the ground and smashes it with a shoe. all in all, little h was stung four times on his tummy and three times on his back and he did not have to go to school that day. (as an aside for those of you panicking in arizona, scorpions in san antonio are not venomous, merely terrifying.)

and that’s a wrap.

6 comment(s) for this post:

Tiff:
24 Apr 2012 About washing children---how often does that really need to be done anyway? ;) About the scorpion---sounds totally terrifying. And I'm glad H didn't have to go to school after an episode like that. What I want to know is how is he feeling about it now? Is he still upset by it, or does he tell the story with pride, or something in between? From what I know of H, I'm guessing he is still talking about it.
Rebecca:
24 Apr 2012 Pretty sure I would've been screaming too! How scary! Hopefully Henry feels better quickly. So glad I don't have to deal with scorpions and hopefully someday you won't have to either!
Deja:
25 Apr 2012 I can't. I don't even. I keep thinking and thinking about this scorpion and Henry and you and that tail and Henry and you. And I don't. I can't even think of what to say. Nightmare quality, that story. I hope they leave you alone forever and ever more.
Becky:
29 Apr 2012 I haven't checked blogs lately, butI have forgotten how much I love reading yours! Not to mention I keep thinking I would love a good book to read (my fourth is about old enough I can stay awake to read) and forgot what a fountain of knowledge you are. Venomous or not, scorpion stings are still scary!
miriam:
29 Apr 2012 Oh poor Henry. I couldn't bring myself to address him as "little h" as you do because despite the terrifying story I couldn't help but laugh as it sounded to me that you were cussing him ...."little h!" Oh how I miss you and your delightful sense of humor! I hope you are doing okay my friend. Oh and wasn't graduation a wonderful day?

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mental monday: just that

jes — Tue, 17 Apr 2012 01:32:49 +0000

hi. i’m feeling a little sheepish. did you know thomas kinkade died? i’m not sure if i mocked his memory or not. well, as it were, rest in peace, my fanciful cottage drawing friend.

it hasn’t been a good week, my friends. the rapid cycling is getting so bad i feel like my brain is a tether-ball being whacked and whacked and whacked. we could talk about it or i could tell you this:

Courage isn’t always grandiose. Sometimes courage is the little voice at the end of the day that says, ‘I’ll try again tomorrow.

Thomas S. Monson

6 comment(s) for this post:

Rebecca:
17 Apr 2012 I thought you had posted his picture in his honor...I didn't consider it mockery at all.
Deja:
17 Apr 2012 wow, i love that quote from Thomas S. Monson. i shall cling to it. i hope you feel better soon, my friend.
Tiff:
17 Apr 2012 @ Rebecca: That's what I thought as well! I assumed she knew he had died a few days before! @Jes: Love the quote, thanks!
Elise:
17 Apr 2012 I love you. I didn't know about Thomas Kinkade. It doesn't change what I thought before which was : I'm so grateful she is having a lovely day! Have as many cottage days as you can. Thinking about you and grateful for your mental Mondays. I really look forward to them. Thanks for helping us share struggles together. Have you heard Julie Beck's last podcast? It made me think of you when she discussed blogging. I was thinking, "what better way to ear one another's burdens across such great distances than the way that jess does it?" reading your blog makes me feel lighter inside. So thanks. You're wonderful.
Elise:
17 Apr 2012 I meant jes. :)

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mental monday: sarcasm aside

jes — Mon, 09 Apr 2012 21:14:49 +0000

today i feel like a thomas kinkade cottage in spring.

3 comment(s) for this post:

Annie:
09 Apr 2012 Is that a good thing or a bad thing?
jes:
09 Apr 2012 @ Annie: right. good question. i feel good. in a good way. maybe even a little cheesy.
Tiff:
09 Apr 2012 @ jes: Cheesy is good. Send me some happy cheese any day. Well, no actual cheese right now as it turns out my baby has a dairy allergy and I'm nursing....

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the particular sadness of lemon cake

jes — Tue, 03 Apr 2012 12:31:12 +0000

it’s late. my contacts feel grainy. my feet are asleep. i’m here on my bed waiting for husband and i just finished aimee bender’s book the particular sadness of lemon cake.

oh, people who read my blog, i cannot believe the bounty of books i’ve had lately. it’s rare that i read two books in a row that make my list of books i really, really like. but look, it just happened. i loved this book. i loved this book. oh, aimee bender, your mind seems to twist in the same ways as mine. everything in this novel spoke to me.

i’m not going to run around recommending that you read this one: aimee bender is definitely not for the faint of heart. it’s like magical realism meets flannery o’connor with a bit of david sedaris and some handfuls of gabriel marquez and maybe emily dickinson. but her description of loneliness is the most potent thing i’ve come across in fiction in a long time.

i also read heaven is for real for my book club. a book i never would have picked up of my own volition. and a book i will never pick up again of my own volition. i don’t mind that the kid went to heaven. or that his parents wrote about it. there was just so little material, i’m surprised they got a little novella. really, it should have been more like a pamphlet. or a leaflet. or a bumper sticker. the end.

1 comment(s) for this post:

Kate:
03 Apr 2012 Oh, yes, loved Aimee Bender, that book and her two books of short stories, too. I got to meet her once! She signed my tattered copy of The Girl in the Flammable Skirt!

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