i’m cuddled under a blanket with a box of kleenex. i’m pretending it’s snowing. (it isn’t snowing. the high was 72 degrees today.) this lingering sickness has me all souped up in a fog. the kids are edgy. they don’t feel well. they don’t like it when i don’t feel well. which makes me pause. [...]

the kids are watching she-ra, eating pop tarts for dinner. i’m laying on the couch. i’ve got the flu. fever, aches, sore throat, odd dreams, and assorted wishes for sweet peaceful death, or at least a day off from mothering. (not that anyone got much mothering today, but i felt like i should be mothering. [...]

i just pushed the last of the candy canes off the counter and into the garbage can. i took a deep breath of january.

i used to be so bugged by the idea of new year’s resolutions–the rush to promise to do things, the madness of trying to fix everything at once. i hate doing anything [...]

i have so much i wish to say in response to both myself and all of you who left such kind comments on my last post. i still struggle and muddle and weep at all of this. i think i will spend a lifetime getting to know myself. and learning how to help myself.

but since [...]

i haven’t been writing much. i could make up an excuse. (i’m good at excuses.) but i think the real reason is i’m afraid that if i write anything, i will write everything. there are some things (moments, ideas, enlightenment) that i keep to myself because they are sacred. and there are some that i [...]