in an effort to become more of a regular blogger, i feel moved to write a weekly mental monday bit focused on issues of mental health. i think as beth pointed out in her comment, more and more people are fighting this battle of the brain. it helps me to articulate my own struggle. and i hope that someone stumbling on these articulations might also find hope and solace in camaraderie of feeling.

so. on to our first installment.

i think it’s important always when struggling with something to have a hero, someone who has walked your valley and is standing on the other side. i want to share with you one my heroes: i admit to discovering him only in the past few months. he is george albert smith, the eighth president of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.

as a quick background for anyone unfamiliar with my faith, the president of the church is also considered the prophet and a direct conduit between heaven and earth. this understood, it was fascinating for me to discover first through this post on by common consent and then through reading this article published in the journal of mormon history titled cheat the asylum of a victim: george albert smith’s 1909-1912 breakdown that our prophet suffered what was then called a nervous collapse for nearly three years. in retrospect, we can now call the breakdown a likely instance of depression and anxiety.

but let me tell you what this means to me personally. i was so struck by the similarities between the things that i have felt and the things that president smith described in his letters and journals. meetings with strangers taxed him and he often found himself confined to bed after stake conferences. he was frustrated with his own weakness to the point that his guilt at not being able to perform his duties would incapacitate him. this would feed his depression. and all of this because he was an extremely good man trying to do extremely good things.

i feel such echoes of this in my own experience. the anxiety. the guilt. the ensuing depression. the general physical weakness. the years upon years of not being able to rise above his condition.

but i love president smith because he is a man who eventually conquered physical and mental frailty. yes, he dealt with it his entire life. but he made peace with it. and was able to lead an entire church. and spread love and compassion wherever he went. in my experience, it is those people who feel deeply and keenly who tend to have some sort of issue with mental health, but also have an empathy that runs to their core. to me president smith is a man who was circumspect enough to see the gifts that came with his weaknesses.

i love also what president smith’s uncle wrote to him during the nervous breakdown: “cheat the asylum of a victim.” i love the clarity. the force behind that statement. and to all you who struggle with this or that, i repeat, let us cheat the asylum of a victim. we can be stronger than that. we, like president smith, can find the little things inside our weaknesses that make us strong.

if you need a little reading this week, i highly recommend the links above that will give you a broader scope on george albert smith’s life and struggles.