it was a very hard week. very hard. very. very.

mr husband was home after midnight every night. and then out all day saturday, returning sometime after 3:30 in the morning. then he had to head back in to work straight after church.

i started to get sort of grumpy. angry at this stupid this. and this stupid that. is there anything to break your heart as thoroughly as seeing someone you love so exhausted, so mentally stretched, so sagging? i don’t think there is. there were a hundred times this week i just wanted to kidnap him from all those slave drivers down at the lab and take him somewhere verdant and green and quiet and let him take a nap.

it’s easy to be angry, isn’t it? it is. it’s easy for me to slip into thinking that things are as difficult as they could possibly be. that one more ounce of ouch and i will simply splinter.

but, i believe in a God who inspires. and luckily He never fails to inspire me at the moments that are the most angry and the most bitter. i’ve been reading gethsemene by andrew skinner. it is profound. i would quote some of its profundity but it’s in the room where mr husband is sleeping and i can’t imagine disturbing him. but the thing that has stuck in my mind is the idea of contradictions. that Christ lived a life of contradictions and to be true disciples ourselves, we must also live a life of contradiction.

which brings me to the coal miners. i often say to him, “at least you aren’t a coal miner.” and maybe before i was joking. but tonight i spent some time reading about the coal miner’s in kentucky and it humbled me. today i am thankful that mr husband does not have to walk into the dark of a mine with a pick ax. i’m grateful that he does not have to breathe in coal dust every day. i’m grateful that i do not have to worry that he will spontaneously combust when the methane catches fire. i’m grateful that we have a home and not a tar paper shanty. i’m grateful that the probability of the roof collapsing on his head is relatively low. i’m grateful that he does not have to set explosives.

the take home message then is not that life could always be worse (not a very helpful take home message), but that life is always difficult and always extreme. and we are strengthened by that extremity. we develop tenderness. and mercy. would i empathize with those coal miner’s wives who must have wrung their hands and feared a mine collapse if i didn’t also lay awake at night hoping that mr husband had not fallen asleep behind the wheel?

so, today i am grateful for everyone before me who has weathered extremity. and i’m grateful for kindness because kindness is born of extremity. and i’m grateful to be so surrounded by bounty. and for all those people in my life who have taught me how to share it.