• the junior high locker room before gym class, that smell, and all the girls with bigger boobs and cuter underwear
• picking a seat on the school bus
• cleveland (more specifically, 2196 cornell road, apt. lower)
• pregnancy
• the graduate seminar i took on alfred hitchcock
• newborns
• a cross country flight with two kids climbing all over me
• peas
• volgograd in the winter–walking along the ice sheets in frozen doc martens and biffing it once every ten minutes
• the feeling i had before my thesis defense
• the weight of postpartum depression
• flute lessons

things i am missing today

• my mom
• my pa
• the way the air smells on my parent’s back porch at dusk when the mountains are black and the sky is the most violet shade of purply black
• the first day of class: walking BYU campus with a new schedule in hand–another semester feeling so exciting and open and possible
• holden arboretum
• my body before childbirth
• the friends i’ve made and scattered across the continents and oceans and universe (there’s a lot of you–i miss you all)
• the sun
• my mother’s sunday rolls with butter and honey (everything warm)