flying back into cleveland from denver we came through about seventeen layers of clouds. it was so choppy i was holding onto the armrest and the seat in front of me and hoping that i wouldn’t have to use the special little bag joe tossed on my lap once the captain turned on the fasten seatbelt sign.

(which reminds me, who are these people who feel like they don’t have to fasten their seat belt when the sign tells them? i’ve always known that i’m something of a freaky rule-follower, but isn’t it ridiculous to be wandering toward the bathroom when the plane is heaving to and fro like a sailboat hitting a reef? and, speaking of airplane bathrooms, there is nothing that can make an eight month pregnant woman feel more huge and unwieldy than an attempt to use the airplane bathroom–especially those models with the doors that hinge inward. this baby is lucky if she doesn’t have a brain injury from me trying to extricate myself from the lavatory.)

and this is all to say, joe finished two residency interviews in colorado and i’m conflicted. i love colorado. (who doesn’t love colorado?) it has 300 days of sun! mountains! other stuff! and it was so so delightful to see little henry having a wonderful time with his grandparents. but. and here’s the but. it is so durn expensive to live there. i have no idea how we would do it with two little kiddos and a resident’s salary. so ann arbor is looking better and better. (am i that shallow that all i really want is a bigger apartment?)

trepidation, i guess, is what i’m feeling. this is a year full of staggeringly huge Events. and i’m scared of making any of the decisions. and i’m scared of the responsibility. and though living as a perpetual student isn’t an option, it does start to look tempting, doesn’t it?